In marriage, the emphasis placed on submission cannot be underestimated. This assertion, which could be found in the Bible as well as in the Quran, admonishes wives to be submissive to their husband. A verse in the Bible says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” This quote identifies the headship of the husband over the wife. Hence, with the above assertion, should wives submit their salary to their husbands?
On WhatsApp Conversation, these are what those who joined the conversation and our expert said on the issue:
A smart woman could do that to her advantage. I do not see it as a necessary issue as long as she is responding to family needs as she could handle. As a man, I would not want my wife to submit her whole salary to me only to turn around and make request that is more than her salary. I think any one that is big enough to earn salary is also big enough to manage it appropriately. Submitting salary to husband is not a sign of obedience. But, if my wife brings her salary to me, I would bless it and return it to her.
The idea is okay if a woman could come down to this level. It shows her level of commitment, understanding, love and submissiveness. This type of woman would enjoy her husband more. The most important thing is the type of husband to deal with.
I would say it depends on the understanding of both partners. A wife could summit her salary to her husband, if he is not a lavish husband. Understanding matters a lot in this issue. As for me, my wife is a government worker and earns more than I do. At the end of the month, we both plan on how to spend our incomes. My advice is that we should always do what works for our family. What works for me might not work for others. Do anything that would not ruin your marriage.
The wife should submit everything to her husband and likewise the husband too. Nothing should be hidden since they are now husband and wife. Yes, a woman should submit her salary to her husband if they are not operating a joint account, which should be the case in the first place. Secondly, if the husband is not prudent with money, submitting her salary to him would plunge the family into penury.
I cannot do that again. I once did it before. Why? At that time, we were operating a joint account. Before I could do anything, I had to beg him as if he worked and earned the money. He would buy anything he liked, gave money to his family member at will. But, mine—he would be reluctant. So, it is better that each person monitors his or her money. Submitting your salary is not part of submission. Rather, it is about our character and attitude.
I cannot. At the end of the day, I would have to ask permission to use the money I worked for. If I buy anything with the money without telling him, it becomes a problem. Everybody should work for their money and save their money. No joint account, either.
This is like asking if they should operate a joint account. It is not necessary. A woman lets you know what she wants you to know—her account balance might not be part of it. But, for me, you should not request for it. She reveals such private matters to you in cases of emergency. However, the husband has a right to know because proper planning starts from there. If she has other extra incomes, she should also tell you to avoid suspicion in the relationship. This helps in building trust. Responsibilities are major challenges in a relationship without proper planning.
Wives submitting themselves to their husbands does not include salary. The man, as the head of the home, should be able to fend for his family. If I am working and earning money and my wife is earning too, it should not stop me from taking care of needs such as foodstuffs and the children’s fees. For me, her salary is meant for her and she should be able to sort her immediate and personal needs from it. If my wife does some spending for the home in my absence; I would refund it. Her salary is meant for her, she can only assist if need be.
I am not working on behalf of my husband. I am working for myself, to support him and the family. A husband, who wants to be the head as Christ is the head of the church, would not ask his wife to submit her salary. If in any case I would have to submit my salary, it should be out of my own will.
I do not buy that idea. It is not healthy for the family. The Bible only says wife should submit, it did not mention money. If a wife chooses not to drop her salary, I do not think it is a sin. There should be agreement between the couple. But if the wife declines, it is not an offence. A wife could still submit with her money not necessarily giving the husband all her salary.
Dr Banke Olaojo, a marriage counsellor, is our expert on this issue. He objects to women submitting their salaries to the husbands. The Scriptures should not be wrongly interpreted. Submission, here, is as unto the Lord. In all honesty, a woman should acknowledge the headship of a man and revere him. It could be agreed upon during courtship that certain percentage of the couple’s salaries go to common purse or the financial budget. It is total enslavement when a woman submits her salary to the husband because most men cannot be sensitive enough to the needs of women. This may lead to conflict in the home. The husband should be able to provide for his family. Women serve as a support to men. If men are the heads then women are the necks, as the neck firmly holds the head. Husband and wife should be alive to their respective responsibilities.
Next week on WhatsApp Conversation, we would be treating: should a spouse access her partner’s phone without his/her consent?
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