One general complaint of husbands about their wives as they advance in the marriage is low or lack of interest in sex, thus denying them the much needed sexual pleasure. This is one major reason for many husbands’ seemingly prowess in extra-marital affairs, or sex outside the marriage. After all, the body’s natural call for sex must be obeyed. The million dollar question here is; why do wives seem to lose interest in sex as they grow old, both in age and in the marriage? That is, why will a wife be frustrating her husband’s sexual satisfaction?
I believe that the following issues will have to be probed into as a way of providing answers, and finding solutions to the suffering of husbands in the hands of their wives, as they advance together in age. This will go a long way to protect the marriage institution from many challenges confronting it.
Purpose of sex in marriage
From the many complaints of husbands about their wives lackadaisical attitude towards sex once they stop bearing children, it’s obvious that a lot of wives don’t understand the purpose of sex in marriage. To such, sex is viewed as a necessary step into motherhood. That is, the reason why a couple should engage in sex is just to bear children. That’s why at the inception of many marriages, the focus is always about pregnancy. The families, friends and society are eagerly awaiting the announcement of “I’m pregnant” or “my wife is pregnant” by the newly married. This situation takes the shine off the pleasure of sex for many couples, such that they hardly lay it to heart that sex is beautiful and pleasurable on its own, without the resultant pregnancies.
This is why a lot of wives never get to the realm of experiencing orgasms in the act of sex. It amazes one to realise that talking about orgasm with many wives is like speaking in tongues. They have never experienced orgasms, or realised that it happens, even if they had experienced it, by stumbling on it, in their sexual experience. Many of them don’t know what is called G.spot, and how to locate it. In fact, the only sexual style many of them know is the popular, traditional; husband on top (is somebody thinking of “oga on top here?) this is also generally referred to as the missionary style. The problem being portrayed here is that of lack enjoying great sex in the marriage. So, the only memorable thing that many wives know of sex is child bearing, and they cherish the memory so much. That is why many of them abandoned their husbands to become nannies to their grandchildren, moving round their children’s homes, without boundaries of nations being a barrier.
However, those who have been fortunate to enjoy great sex in marriage, consequent upon different sex styles and skills, have a lot to look up to in the act of sex. Such don’t joke with having sex with their husbands. In fact, such wives initiate sex with their husbands. These categories of wives don’t lose interest in sex after quitting child bearing stage. For them, sex is till death comes.
So, those wives who frustrate their husbands in the act of sex, especially after passing the child bearing stage, have, in most cases, not have been to the zenith of sexual pleasure. Otherwise, they can’t stop having sex. Or have you seen a fish that will stop swimming, or a bird quitting flying? When a wife enjoys sex like a white man enjoys cigarette, there will be no stopping her from sex, not to talk of her refusing her husband. May we never experience bad thing! If those non consenting wives are confronted, most of them will confess that sex has been boring for them. That is the only major reason that could have been responsible for their frustrating attitude to their husbands in bed.
The unhealthy state of the female size.
I did a study on this a few weeks ago, and I wrote a little bit on it last week in this column. When the female size does not support sexual pleasure for the wives, they will not be forthcoming with sexual escapades with their husbands. The truth is that ignorance about the female size on the part of couples also affects wives’ availability for sex in the marriage. For instance, the use of condom impacts negatively on the female size in that the pleasure derived from sex using it is reduced.
One minute husband’s situation
This can be quite frustrating for a wife when the husband cannot deliver as at when due. In fact, it is a serious issue in marriage. It’s like a woman getting into labour, and not being able to push through to delivery. The joy is that many husbands have come to realise this, and are sparing no effort to address it. I can speak for them as a result of the feedbacks I get from men through this column.
In closing, I am aware that a healthy and happy couple stands a good chance of enjoying great sex. We must therefore ensure that we assist ourselves as husband and wife to stay healthy and happy together so as to enjoy our lives, especially the sex life, together.
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