Punishment for disrespecting parents in Islam

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

One of the most serious sins in Islam is disobedience to one’s parents. Sadly, we see this becoming more common today. Children raising their voices, arguing, or even ignoring the advice of their parents. Islam emphasises that after worshipping Allah, the Most High, the next greatest duty is kindness and obedience to one’s parents.

In the Qur’an, Surah Al-An’am (6:151): Allah, the Most High, says – “Say, ‘Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited to you. [He commands] that you not associate anything with Him, and to parents, good treatment…’”.

In light of the above verse, it was a command from Allah, the Most High, that we should forever give our parents good treatment all through their living on earth. And acting contrary to the commands of Allah, the Most High, will come with some punishment in both here and the hereafter.

Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) related that the Prophet (pbuh) said, “There are four people who will not enter Paradise as Allah decreed: a drunkard, a usurer, he who appropriates the orphan’s property without a legal cause and he who shows disrespect to one’s parents.” [Al-Hakim]

The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, “Paradise lies beneath the feet of mothers.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

A man came to Abu Ad-Darda’ and said, “O Abu Ad-Darda’, I have married a woman but my mother ordered me to divorce her.” Then Abu Ad-Darda said, “Parents is the middle gate of Paradise. You may either miss or preserve it.” [Ibn Majah, Ahmad and AI-Hakim]

The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, “Three supplications are surely acceptable: the supplication of the oppressed, the traveler and the parents against their children.” [Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah]

“An aunt is treated as a mother i.e., honourable treatment.” [Bukhari, Abu Dawud]

Wahb Ibn Munabbih said, “In the tablets written by Allah to Musa is the following, ‘O Musa! Respect your parents. Whoever respects his parents I will extend his life span and grant him a grateful progeny. But, whoever shows disrespect to his parents I will shorten his life span and grant him an ungrateful progeny.” [Ad-Dur AI-Manthur]

Abu Bakr Ibn Abu Mariam also said, “I read in the Torah that he who hits his father will be killed.” Similarly, Wahb said, “I read in the Torah that he who slaps his father should be stoned until death.”

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Amr Ibn Murrah Al-Juhanni said, “A man came to the Messenger of Allah and asked, ‘O Messenger of Allah, what do you say if I pray obligatory duties, fast during Ramadan, give due Zakat on my wealth, and perform Hajj if I am able to do so, what is my reward?’ The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, ‘He who does this, he will be with the prophets, truthful people and the martyrs unless he disrespects his parents.” [AI-Haithami in Majma’ AI-Zawa’id]

It was related that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, “May Allah curse he who shows disrespect to his parents.”

Also, the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, “In the night of Isra (Night Journey) I saw groups of people in the Hell-Fire hanged on trunks of fire. I asked, “Who are they, Gabriel?” He said, “They are those who revile their parents in this world.”

Bishr said, “Whoever is intimated by his mother and listens to her speech is better than the one who fights with his sword in the cause of Allah. Gazing at her surpasses everything. Once a man and a woman presented before the Prophet (pbuh) arguing about their child. The man said, “O Messenger of Allah, he is my child who was created from my loins (backbone).” On the other hand, the woman said, “O Messenger of Allah, he bore him lightly and proceeded it out of lust. But I bore him in travail, delivered him in travail and suckled him during two full years.” Thereupon, the Prophet judged for the mother.”

In the Prophet’s lifetime, there was a young man called Alqamah. He was so devout that he exerted great efforts in performing many prayers, fasting and spending money in charity. He had a fatal disease that his wife informed the Prophet (pbuh) that her husband was dying. Thereby, the Prophet (pbuh) sent Ammar, Suhaib and Bilal to instruct the dying to say the testification of Faith. When they arrived there, they found him dying. Therefore, they began to instruct him to say there is no god but Allah, but he could not repeat it. They returned to the Prophet (pbuh) to consult him. Then, the Prophet (pbuh) said, “Did he have living parents?” They said, “He had an aged mother.” Accordingly, the Prophet asked them to bring her if she was able to walk. Otherwise he himself will go there. When being informed by the Prophet’s message, the mother said, “I sacrifice him with my soul. I will go to him.” She then went to him leaning on a staff. After greeting, the Prophet (pbuh) said, “O mother of Alqamah, tell me the truth and if you lie Allah will reveal me the truth. How was Alqamah?” She said, “He performed much prayers, fasting and spending money in charity.” Then, the Prophet (pbuh) asked, “What about you?” She said, “O Messenger of Allah! I am angry with him.” The Prophet asked, “Why?” She said, “Because he prefers his wife to me and also disobeys me.” Then, the Prophet (pbuh) said, “The anger of Alqamah’s other holds Alqamah’s tongue to utter the testification of Faith.”

Afterwards, the Prophet said, O Bilal, go and gather a pile of wood.” The woman said, “Why, Messenger of Allah?” The Prophet said, “To bum him before your eyes.” She said, “O Messenger of Allah, he is my son! I cannot endure that he be burnt before my eyes.” Then, the Prophet said, “But Allah’s torture is more severe and lasting, mother of `Alqamah. So if you like him to be forgiven by Allah, you forgive him. By Whom in Whose hands my soul is, what he performed of prayers, fasting and charity is of no avail so long as you are angry with him.”

Then, she said, “O Messenger of Allah, may Allah the Almighty, his angels and all Muslims who are present witness that I forgive my son, Alqamah.” Thereupon, the Prophet said, “Go to him, Bilal, to see whether he can utter the testification of Faith or not. She might forgive him out of shyness.” Approaching Alqamah’s house, Bilal heard him saying, “There is no god but Allah.” Then, the Prophet (pbuh) ordered them to prepare the funeral, washing and shroud. Then, he prayed over him and witnessed the funeral. Then, the Prophet stood in front of the deceased grave and said, “O Muhajirin (Emigrants) O Ansar (Helpers), he who prefers his wife to his mother entails the curse of Allah, His angels and the whole people. Allah never accepts his deeds or a reason unless he makes repentance, treats his mother well and asks her consent. This is because Allah’s consent is conditioned on the mother’s and His wrath is hers.” [Ibn Hajar AI-Haithami].

To this end, we must learn that Islam teaches us that oppression destroys lives, and disrespect to parents destroys blessings. Whoever seeks Allah’s mercy should deal justly with people and honour his parents, for these deeds bring success in this world and the next.