IN the institution called marriage, everyone has a love language that tickles their fancy into accepting to go into a lifelong relationship with their partner. All marriages have their own strength at which it is birthed. Some are on time, wealth or attention. It is not gainsaying to state that there is no perfect marriage. There is always a loophole to fill as no human is perfect. All we do is aim at perfection. Thus, in a situation where you are opened to one of the following strengths in your marriage, which would you prioritise: time, money or attention
On WhatsApp Conversation, these are what those who joined the conversation and our experts said on the issue:
Marriage is a very sensitive institution that needs hundred percent attention to balance the imperfection that may occur in it. It is instituted to iron out our differences which can only be achieved via adequate attention to one another. Attention enhances good communication in marriages. It promotes care, bond between couples.
Marriage is something very sensitive and one have to be careful about it. Marriage is about responsibilities. There are various responsibilities which could be solved by money, psychology, time, etc. However, in prioritising any of the above listed virtues in marriage, I would go for time. One has to note that attention comes when you have time for someone, and through that, financial issue can as well be solved. Time helps you to listen to your spouse’s complain, or children’s complain. Many homes have been shattered because of lack of time. Time allows for attention to have its effect. If you don’t give room for time with your family, there is no way attention can set in.
I will prioritise attention. This is because attention is encompassing, there is no way one will pay attention to something that it will not involve both time and money, what you pay attention to, takes your time and money. Which will lead to attention and aided money. What you see, you pay attention to, what you pay attention to, you will like and what you will like, then you will love. So, time and money are embedded in attention
Yahaya Habeeb Kayode
Time, money and attention are significant variables in a marriage; however, attention should be a priority before others. When there is no giving-of-attention in a relationship especially between husband and wife, conflict will set in. Money is also important because it is the wheel with which relationship moves on. Time is also needful but attention is the most important.
Attention controls and organises all other ingredients. While time and money are factors at marriage home, attention is the coordinator. Money or/and time could be disorganised if there is little or no attention about complaints at home, whether about little or no time spent at home or the insufficient money to fund the house. If there is attention, other users will ‘bow’, and understand his own (attention) constraints.
All the three listed are important. Men are expected to provide the money with the wife supporting. I believe I will be rich, so money is out of it. Someone can give you their time but not their attention. They will be with you physically but are somewhere else. You will be frustrated. That’s why I will pick attention. When she gives me attention, she will create time to give me the attention. Attention to my stomach, attention in the other room, attention to joint bible study, attention to family altar and prayers, attention to my heart and needs generally. It goes both ways too because I have to give her attention too. So, all the three are very important. We all want money, we all want time and we want attention, so if you get the three, that’s super fantastic. But if I must necessarily pick just one, it will be attention.
As for me, I would prioritise money because it can actually cover up for both time and attention. Just imagine when there is money, you can actually apologise to your family for not having enough time with them by giving them a mega-surprise picnic or organising a romantic date with your wife. In a nut-shell, money actually sweetens the marriage and can buy time and attention. Where there’s no money, there would hardly be any respect and even some partners would wish you don’t give any attention but find every means of encouraging and forcing you to be financially stable first.
Ebitanmi Taiwo, a relationship enthusiast, is our expert on this issue. In marriages or reltionships, priority should be placed on attention. Because what’s the use of time and money when you don’t get the attention necessary. How do you even enjoy the money you seek with might when the attention is not there? Definitely, the said money won’t be spent in peace. Money though has its vital place in marriage but should not be prioritised above all, especially above attention and time. When the attention is available and as at when due, then proper planning and loving discussion as to money will be sorted out. When you have the needed attention then you can strategically get money and not make yourself a slave to it. Absence of this cannot give you a coordinated mind enough to strategise getting or spending money as prudent as it ought to be.
Next week on WhatsApp Conversation, we would be treating: Which would you prioritize in selecting a partner: A great cook or sex freak?
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