‘Our neigbours always know when we have sex, ’cos my wife yells, curses, draws knife at me’

•Sex with my husband is a death sentence —Wife

Dateline was Tuesday 7 July, 2020 at a customary court in Ibadan.

Husband: “She refused to sleep in my room and regularly denies me sex. She’s violent and threatens me with a knife any time I demand for my conjugal right. She tells me, “I find you repulsive. I feel like stabbing you.”

Wife: “He cares less about my feelings, all he wants is sex. I hate it when he touches me and I feel pain when having intercourse with him. I bleed for days any time I slept with him.”

The man, Abidemi Dada has approached Oja Oba/ Mapo Court C Customary Court, Mapo, Ibadan, Oyo State, seeking that it stop his 13-year-old marriage to his wife, Opeyemi Dada.

Abidemi in his divorce suit claimed that his wife was troublesome and always fighting him.

The plaintiff stated that the defendant was in the habit of insulting and using derogative words at him even in the presence of their neighbours which he said he found embarrassing.

According to Abidemi, Opeyemi made matters worse by denying him sex. The plaintiff explained that the defendant was always threatening him with knife whenever he requested for his conjugal right.

He added that his wife abandoned all her responsibilities in the home and made their children to suffer.

The plaintiff told the court the defendant had pushed him to the wall. According to him, all he wanted was an end to their marriage.

Opeyemi willingly agreed to divorce.

The defendant stated that the plaintiff never loved her and that all he was always after in their relationship was to have sex with her.

She further explained that she never enjoyed intercourse with him husband because it was painful.

Opeyemi  also stated that she always  bled for  days each time  she had sex with Abidemi and this, she stated, was hampering her health.

She entreated the court not to accede to her husband’s prayer on their children’s custody because they were still young and needed the motherly care.

Giving his judgment, the court president, Chief Ademola Odunade stated that more evidence would be needed.

Odunade therefore adjourned the case and asked both parties to come with their children and witnesses on the adjourned date.

“My lord, Opeyemi has turned me into a laughing stock in our compound because we always fight over sex.

“My wife constantly denies me my conjugal right.  She moved out of my room early in our marriage and has been sleeping in the spare room.

“I can count on my finger tips the number of times we slept together since we got married 13 years ago. I always cajole and pet my wife before she agreed that I slept with her.

“I reported her to our overseer in church who counseled us and instructed Opeyemi to move back to my room.

“She complied and moved in with me. She slept with me for three days after which she moved back to the other room.

“My lord, Opeyemi fights me any time I demand for my conjugal right. She would yell and curse me.

“Opeyemi had on some occasions threatened me with knife. She would draw a knife at me, threatening to stab me.

“Opeyemi is always embarrassing me in the presence of our neighbours who sometimes mediate in our differences.  She insults me by using derogative words at me.

“Opeyemi gradually abandoned her duties in the home. She has stopped cooking for the family despite giving her feeding allowance.

“I told her to go for family planning but she refused which was the reason we fought the last time we did.

“My lord, I can’t tolerate Opeyemi’s misbehaviour any longer. She has embarrassed me enough. I want her to go.

“I plead with this court to put our children in my care. They are my only gain in this wrecked wedlock,” the plaintiff stated.

Wife replies: “I am glad I am gaining liberty from the bondage I blindly walked into 13 years ago,” Opeyemi said.

She told the court, “It was hell staying married to Abidemi this long. It has been worries and pains althrough and I can’t bear it any longer.

“My husband is not interested in my welfare. He doesn’t love me.  All Abidemi is interested in is sex. He would insist on having his way and would force himself on me. According to him,  it is his conjugal right.

“My lord, sex with Abidemi is a death sentence. I dread having intercourse with him because I never enjoy it. I feel pain while it lasts.

“I face another ordeal when he’s through with it. I bleed heavily and this can last for a week. This, my lord, has constantly been the pattern.

“My husband ignores me while I bleed and never offers any medical help.

“My lord, Abidemi insisted I aborted his pregnancy on four different occasions. All these are taking their tolls on my health.

“All I request from this court this morning is that it grants me custody of our three children. They are young and still need the motherly care, “the defendant concluded.



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