Mother’s Day: How churches can ensure all-inclusive celebration

Following the release of 82 Chibok girls days ago, and as various major Christian denominations across the country celebrate Mothers’ Day today, a tradition Nigeria can take full advantage of to celebrate the unique role of women in the church, Rita Okonoboh shares insight for churches, as provided by religious ministers, on how pastors can celebrate their wives, and how the church can make it an all-inclusive celebration.

We know that in the western world, there has been some level of improvement because now we are beginning to see women heading countries. I’m hoping that, one day, we will be able to produce a woman as the President of Nigeria. There’s this uniqueness in a woman, because a woman is actually a man with a womb and that is the added value of a woman.

“A woman can think through things if she is under pressure, you can see that she can easily balance out things. Those are some of the attributes that God has deposited in a woman and, if she is allowed to function in her unction, not only would she be able to bring transformation to her immediate environment but the community and beyond.”

The above are the words of the Pastor Helen Oritsejafor, wife of the former Chairman of the Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN), known for championing the cause of women, especially to bring to light, the many potentials of women in ensuring a better world.

Occasions for celebrating women are rarely taken lightly, and for the church, of which women are said to play an all-too-important role in ensuring its existence, it becomes only befitting that a day as this be celebrated.

Celebrating mothers on the second Sunday in May traces its origin to hundreds of years ago, and evolved from celebrating just mothers to encompassing all women, whether they had children or not. Interestingly, in recent times, single women are also included in the celebration.

‘Mothers’ Day celebration should focus on all women’

According to Dr. Deb Douglas, minister to women at First Baptist Church, Bossier City, La., and a LifeWay Ministry Multiplier, who launched her first women’s Bible study at the age of 20, Mothers’ Day is also for: Women struggling with infertility; single women; moms who have lost a child; women who have lost their moms; women who live far away from their moms; moms who have dysfunctional relationships with their children; women who have dysfunctional relationships with their moms; moms who have had an abortion; moms who are waiting for adoption; moms who have given up their children for adoption; moms who have lost their children to the child protective services; moms of children with special needs or facing health issues; moms with children who are with their stepmom for the weekend; stepmoms who are struggling with finding balance in the midst of a blended family, among others.

For the Nigerian congregation, the list can also include women ‘ostracised’ from society as a result of their so-called failures in marriages, women abandoned by the church for their choices, victims of domestic violence, victims of sexual abuse, mothers of children gone missing; mothers of children with special needs; widows, elderly women, among so many others.

“It’s a long list – a list of moms and women who struggle with Mother’s Day. When flowers are given out for the youngest mom, the oldest mom, and the mom with the most children, it’s like daggers in the heart of a hurting woman. They dread Mother’s Day as the worst, most hurtful day of the year. At most churches, we celebrate the day. We honor moms as if they are a breed of unique, angelic aliens. But how are the moms who have suffered or are currently experiencing great motherhood trauma responding? Are we inflicting unnecessary pain?” Douglas queries.

She provides tips for churches to make Mothers’ Day special. She urges simple gifts; sensitivity when choosing categories for an award ceremony; a montage video of women sharing what the day means to them or a slide show of pictures with other women who have played mother roles, as well as a special prayer session for women and mothers facing challenges.

How pastors can celebrate their wives

Founding Pastor of Saddleback Church, one of America’s largest and most influential churches. He is the author of the New York Times bestseller The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren, shares four ways pastors can celebrate their wives on this special day.

In a message posted in the past week, Warren states: “Pastor, if you’re like most men out there, you’re probably still looking for just the right gift for your wife this Mother’s Day. You may be searching the Internet, walking the aisles of a department store, or thinking through the perfect lunch. But you may already have the perfect gift within your grasp.

“In just about any survey you find about women’s needs, affection is at the top of the list. Affection symbolises security, comfort, and approval. When a husband shows affection to his wife, he sends a powerful message to her: ‘I care for you. I’ll take care of you. I’ll protect you. I’m concerned for your needs. I approve of you. I’m proud of you.’

“Colossians 3:19 says, “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them” (NIV). The Amplified Bible says this in the verse, “be affectionate and sympathetic with them” (AMP). As long as Jesus Christ is first place in your life, it’s impossible to give your wife too much honor. The more you appreciate her, the more you love her, the more you show affection for her, the more she will mature in Christ.”

Warren goes on to highlight four ways pastors can appreciate their wives, taking advantage of the celebration today. According to him, “You can learn to be affectionate. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t grow up in an affectionate house. You learned a lot of things later in life that you didn’t learn at home. Affection is a habit. Like any habit it takes time to develop. It may be awkward at first. But when you begin to do it, it will become part of your marriage, and you’ll see dramatic results.”

Warren advises showing affection with words, especially in what he describes as a “steady diet of compliments” with the help of the Songs of Solomon; with actions; with touch and through focused attention.

How churches’ programmes can celebrate, rather than hurt women     

For a country like Nigeria, where the role of the woman, especially to rise beyond the mere appellation of being subjected to ‘kitchens’ and ‘other rooms’ is still not a widely accepted phenomenon, the church holds a key position to ensuring that women feel special, considering their biblical role in the message of salvation.

As Bishop Isaac Idahosa, the Presiding Bishop of God First Ministries International, with headquarters in Lagos State states, “The truth is that there are no female Holy Spirits. The same Holy Spirit in a man is what exists in a woman. If God can use the man, why not a woman,” beyond the calls for women to hold more key positions in church, government, and society, irrespective of social standing, denomination or doctrine, there is the need to ensure that many issues, as they affect women, are brought to the fore and addressed as appropriate, and Mothers’ Day celebrated in churches today, provides the opportunity of no time like the present.