Today, I want to wrap up the thought on spoilers in marriage by mentioning a few other things that are hazards in marriage, and which we must do all within our power, never to engage in them, if we want to enjoy a great marriage. I believe that with these ones, we will be having enough tips for the success of a marriage.
- Infidelity
The most sacred activity in marriage is sex. It’s the height of intimacy in the marriage. I refer to sex as the most sacred because it is the only aspect of marriage that cannot be successfully delegated. You can get a cook to prepare your food, dry cleaner to handle your clothes, house keeper to take care of the other house chores, and even a baby sitter to nurse your children. But, with sex, there is no helping hand for that. It doesn’t go down well, at least with one spouse, to let someone handle the sex responsibility for him or her. Even in cases where situations of poverty, childlessness, impotency and the likes, make it permissible, it always ends in agony for the disadvantaged spouse, and the end of this could be disastrous. It is always a serious point of great fight in marriage.
So, engaging in infidelity will normally trigger off strife in the marriage. No one is happy sharing his man, or her woman, sexually with other or others. Its consequences are always very grave. This was highly frowned upon in my part of the world, such that it stigmatises anyone engaging in infidelity as a murderer. This is due to past experiences in which infidelity lovers had conspired to kill their spouses, so to be able to be with each other forever. So, couples should avoid situations that can make infidelity come into play in the marriage institution.
- Sex starving to settle scores
Couples must also avoid using sex as a weapon of war or infighting in the marriage. It’s only in harlotry or prostitution and infidelity that you negotiate for sex. It’s not allowed in marriage. A spouse who does that is endangering his or her marriage. Don’t make sex a revenge tool in your marriage. Neither should you hold your spouse to ransom with sex. You may push him or her into the waiting arms of infidelity, which in these days, has become so cheap and common, such that it is fast becoming a norm in the society. Couples should find other ways of settling their differences without using sex as a consideration. While wives could be the more guilty about it, husbands are also becoming vast in the sex starve issue.
- Verbal and physical abuse
Lastly, verbal abuse, mostly on the part of the wife, and physical abuse, mostly on the part of the husband, must not be made a part of the marriage. A verbally abused husband is a time bomb, that may explode into clubbing and other anti marital behaviours. Likewise, a physically abused wife, with time, may end up with another man. A wife, though naturally graced to talk, should not use it negatively, especially with her husband. When a wife nags her husband, it usually result in emotional trauma for him. This is not good for the success of the marriage. Just as physical abuse traumatises a wife, so also does verbal abuse to the husband. A marriage that will be great must be devoid of verbal and physical abuse. We should also note that each of these can provoke each other. That is, verbal abuse can provoke physical abuse, and vice versa.
If we pay attention to all these things, among others, in our marriage, we will be able to stay out of troubled waters, and enjoy a great marriage, to a great extent. Engaging in any of these is like fishing in troubled waters. May our marriages succeed.
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