ONE marital challenge that is impacting on sexual satisfaction in marriage is in the area of health. It is when one is healthy that sexual satisfaction will be a card on the table. When a partner’s health is precarious, sex is the last thing to be desired. In fact, it is only great love and understanding of a couple, in such a situation that can sustain them. It is a serious issue of concern that needs to be addressed adequately. The following information I will pass across here, will be of great help to those concerned.
In dealing with health challenge, let me state that this is of different shades and colours. It includes cancer of the breast, lung, throat, etc, prostate cancer, cervical cancer, and others. Even, for health challenge of common nature such as malaria, cold, and the likes. Every couple must have to device means of rising above them to still enjoy sex. In a recent situation, a wife complained that her husband had not touched her sexually for months, due to prostate cancer related treatment, leading to him losing erection, temporarily.
The issue is that the couple must have to show great understanding about their situation. Despite the loss of erection, there are other things the husband can do to let his wife reach orgasm. He needs not withdraw from touching his wife sexually. All those touches will work for his wife to be sexually satisfied. The wife must also be patient with him, in order to encourage him for the needful sexual touches that will give both, sexual satisfaction.
In case of the situation where the health challenge does not allow for such sexual fondling, couples must employ caring love to fill in the gap. The use of sex toys could be a way out for sexual satisfaction for them. However, this must be maturely handled in order not to make a partner feel bad, or guilty about his/her failing health. The healthy one may also be coming across as being inconsiderate. It’s therefore behooves of the healthy spouse to be discreet about his or her sex needs, and the use of such sex toys, in order to reduce the strain of the health challenge on his or her spouse.
In the case of sex being practically impossible due to pains from the ailments, the couple must allow love to prevail above their sexual desire. Since sex is a thing of the mind, the couple’s concern about the suffering of the sick partner, will weigh the mind down, such that the desire for sex becomes secondary. With this, the couple should be able to pull through without sex. I knew of a case in which for a space of two years, a spouse had to stay out of sex, due to the health challenge of his wife. As difficult this may come accross to many, the husband was able to cope due to the concern he had for his wife pulling through the situation.
However, in reality, it could lead a partner to extra marital affairs. This could be heartbreaking for the sick partner, if the cat is let out of the bag. We have instances where this played out in some relationships, and it was really a death blow to the sick partners. I believe strongly that couples should show a high level of consideration for the ailing partner, by exercising self control while it lasted. Such understanding and control might just be what will give the sick partner the staying power to pull through miraculously, knowing that there is someone worth living for. Alternatively, it may sooth the pains of departing this world, with the succour of love.
Conclusively, no challenge should be able to stop our enjoying sex, as a physical activity, or as a feeling of love in one’s heart. With great understanding and self control, we will be able to pull through. May God save us all from various challenges that can hinder us from enjoying one of the most important activities in marriage. It is my prayers that those facing such health challenges will be helped by God to pull through successfully.
My book Enjoying Great Sex Life is still available for sale. Please contact me for details on 08112658560.
YOU SHOULD NOT MISS THESE HEADLINES FROM NIGERIAN TRIBUNE
In spite of the huge investment in the water sector by the government and international organisations, water scarcity has grown to become a perennial nightmare for residents of Abeokuta, the Ogun State capital. This report x-rays the lives and experiences of residents in getting clean, potable and affordable water amidst the surge of COVID-19 cases in the state…
The Lagos-Ibadan railway was inaugurated recently for a full paid operation by the Nigerian Railway Corporation after about a year of free test-run. Our reporter joined the train to and fro Lagos from Ibadan and tells his experience in this report…