We’ve all heard stories of women’s husbands, boyfriends, brothers, or any male in their lives, going for younger women. Not to mention, the number of male middle-aged celebrities who are dating women half their age, some young enough to be their daughter. And honestly, it’s somewhat of a mystery.
This week on WhatsApp Conversation, the attempt is to look at the reasons why this trend is prevalent and the reasons that might be behind the trend:
There is usually a principle of choice when it comes to dating or marriage in this part of the world. It is not surprising that we find a lot of men who have a thing for women who are much younger than they are. It seems to be the generally accepted trend and a lot of people do not question it.
It is funny how some people will think this is an African thing when it is indeed a global phenomenon. It has to do with the expectation but younger women are usually favoured for their bodies. Men love good things, no doubt and who would pick saggy skin over firm ones? There is the beauty advantage and you cannot throw that away.
One of the reasons why I have seen older men move closer to younger women is the factor of adventure. These men might be old, but they are looking for adventure and who has it – the younger women of course. So, there is a lot of adventure and spontaneity that older men are looking for and the right demography to deliver on that is young women.
Older men like younger women for the same reasons why Young women prefer to go out with older men. Women generally do not date their age mates range – they prefer to have it younger or older. Again, there is the fact that men age like fine wine while women tend to lose the desirability as the age goes by.
Maybe we are looking at it the wrong way, older men like younger women, the same way younger women like older men. You have to look at the fact that a lot of younger women are all about financial stability and older men who are more accomplished can foot the bill. There is an attraction between both parties, one has what the other wants and while relationships should not be transactional, the truth must be told in this case.
One of the strong reasons why older men usually have a thing for younger women is because they want to feel wanted. As we all get older and responsibilities choke us up, there is a feeling that older women will not have so much time for their spouses. With younger women, this can be short-circuited even if it is for a little time before ageing kicks in.
When they say that men will always have the emotional maturity of a teenager, they are not wrong. And it is exactly why they are more attracted to younger women. It is because both their minds are at the same maturity levels and men feel that younger women can understand them better. A lot of men cannot handle the harsh maturity that women who are their age mates will dish out and so to cope, they switch to younger women.
Some men are exactly mature enough to handle a serious commitment. It means they have to step out of the bubble they are living in and face the demons that are stopping them from finding a real connection. Older women have gone through so much already that they will not settle for mediocrity. They expect their man to look into themselves and figure out whether it’s worth it all. Younger women, since they are still finding their identity, are not as rigid in what they want from a relationship and are fine if things remain casual. It is usually a match made in heaven and everyone is happy.
One of the principal issues that have created this discrepancy is the place of ego. The men who have an issue with giving up control or dominance are unable to connect with a woman their age. Older women know what they want and they are not afraid to make that known. That is not an issue with younger women and they are content to take things as it comes. This is a massive difference and men will usually go for the less problematic option.
Thetrend is one that is socially backed. The society has cultured men in a way to see young women as the prize knowing that they are in for a period of experimenting before the burden of age comes in. Men who date women their age or older are somehow being looked upon as being unserious. Sometimes, they are being viewed as gold diggers especially if the woman is financially buoyant. All these underlying factors are not often mentioned or seen in the grand scheme of things.
The question for next week is What is your view on a stay at home dad? Smash or pass? Be a part by sending your experience to 0813660135 on WhatsApp.
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