How money makes marriages work

A review of Phillips Adewale Odelana’s book, Marriage Mines: Cents and Sensible Use of Money in Marriage.

ONE of the many challenges facing marriages today is the issue of money and how it is dispensed in the home. Unfortunately, this is rarely discussed, even among marriage counsellors.

It is, therefore, a great idea when Phillips Adewale Odelana, the General Director of the Scripture Union Nigeria, decided to discuss this very important topic in marriage.

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The book, while explaining the four money personalities, highlights that marriage and money issues breed a lot of actions and reactions.

The author agrees that the most common usage of money in marriage is that it is used as a tool to accomplish some specific goals such as love, power, happiness, security, control, dependency, independence, freedom and more.

“In this wise, money is a symbol that needs to be decoded. This decoding reaches deep into the human psyche. Usually, when the botton of money is pressed, deeper issues emerge that have long been neglected.

“As a result, money matters are a perfect vehicle for revelation of who we are or who we are dealing with, and for what end we use out money.” (P26).

Here, the author explains that when issues of money surfaces, most people bring out their true colours, and many relate to money much as they relate to a person, and when two individuals form an enduring relationship with each other, money is always a partner too.  This partnership can, however, be used to one’s advantage.

It is, therefore, important to understand one’s partner’s money personality, so as to reduce the possibility of serious conflict.

One does not need to have identical views with one’s partner on money, but understanding the other individual’s money personality will go a long way in adjusting, adapting and accommodating, as well as resolving issues surrounding finances.

One of the money personalities are the spenders and the savers. While some individuals plan for the rainy days, and as a result, may save a larger percentage of their income, others may be the spending type who wants to exhaust all the money as they come in.

In this situation, it is important to find a common ground so that the issue of money will not result in a crack in the relationship.

There are also the risk takers and the security seekers, as a couple might have different perspectives on how to approach earning money. While one individual might be a risk taker, who prefers to invest the family’s savings on a business venture, the other might be a security seeker, who is only comfortable with having a secured fund in a financial institution.

In this case, it is also important the couple discuss how to go about their finances as this has a great chance to cause disagreement between the couple. The author also discusses about the hustler, as well as those who prefer to live debt-free.

The book discusses everything one needs to know about money in marriage, and it will definitely go a long way in saving many marriages that are facing challenges as a result of how to dispense money in the marriage.

Marriage-Mines is a series where the author, who is a pre-marital counselor, discusses several issues in marriage.