FROM the feedbacks received about wives initiating s3x with their husbands, it is obvious that it is a game changer in marriage. Husbands love their wives to ask them for s3x, and this will positively impact on the overall health of marriages. It is no longer news that the underlining factor in most marital hicupps is lack of s3xual satisfaction, and wives initiating s3x is a factor in s3xual satisfaction. How then do we achieve this in the marriage?
Paying attention to the emotional build up of wives. Researchers have proved over the years that women are a bundle of emotions by all standards, including s3x. It is easier for wives to initiate s3x with their husbands, when they are emotionally connected with them. A woman is the one who sees s3x as “love making” in most cases. To a man, s3x is s3x, and it is not more than that, on a general note. Women take a less direct route to s3xual satisfaction. Women want to talk first, connect first, then have s3x,” Perel explains. “For men, s3x is the connection. s3x is the language men use to express their tender loving vulnerable side,” Perel says. “It is their language of intimacy.”
To make a wife initiate s3x, the husband must pay close attention to her emotions. She must be convinced of his undivided love; provision of basic needs based on revealed ability (this is the best he can do); willingness to help her in all situations among others. All these make it easier for wives to initiate s3x with their husbands.
Plant s3x in the mind of wives
It is often said that s3x begins in the morning and in the mind. If wives will initiate s3x, husbands must plant the seed for s3x in the mind of wives regularly. This can be done in words and deeds. Men and women travel slightly different paths to arrive at s3xual desire. “I hear women say in my office that desire originates much more between the ears than between the legs,” says Esther Perel, a New York City psychotherapist. “For women there is a need for a plot — hence the romance novel. It is more about the anticipation, how you get there; it is the longing that is the fuel for desire,” Perel says. So, it boils down to wetting their appetite in advance, preparing the ground, and stirring them up for s3x. Speak right words of love, send love notes, tell them you miss them. If you already know her love language, speak it. These done, you don’t have to ask her for s3x. Rather, she becomes a ready and willing horse, waiting eagerly for the ride. Or do you ask an hungry man to eat after setting the table? Not all, I suppose is the right answer. Likewise you can be rest assured that your wife will not just ask you for s3x, but she will give you the best moment of s3x on such days.
Allay her fears about s3x and its consequences.
“Men have every incentive to have s3x to pass along their genetic material, Laumann says. By contrast, women may be hard-wired to choose their partners carefully, because they are the ones who can get pregnant and wind up taking care of the baby. They are likely to be more attuned to relationship quality because they want a partner who will stay around to help take care of the child. They’re also more likely to choose a man with resources because of his greater ability to support a child.”
This quote plays out in marriage as well. Allay all fears by planning the right contraceptives with her; helping her in raising children; be as responsible a husband as much as is generally expected; be great in bed to give her orgasms. All these will translate to her looking forward to moments of s3x with you, even when you least expect.
Finally, educate yourselves in the matters of s3x, especially if you have a background of religion and low level of education. Researches have revealed that religion and educational level play a great part in the s3xual permissiveness among couples. Less religious wives are more likely to embrace initiating s3x, different s3x positions, and other s3x escapades with their husbands. The same goes for the educated wives as well. So, couples should invest in s3x education for themselves through books, seminars and conferences. It helps to broaden minds and deal with s3x fallacies.
My book, enjoying great s3x life, is still available for sale. For details, please call 08112658560.
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