Feeling bad, lonely

Dear Yemisi,

I am a 34-year-old lady. I am not in any relationship and I am feeling bad and lonely.

Men who come around me are not serious from my observation.

Please, advise me.

Seun, 09******7**.

Dear Seun,

Your case needs urgent solution because one cannot say that you are too young to be in a steady relationship because you are more than ripe for one.

Seun, what gives you the impression that men who at one point in time or the other approached you are not the serious type? What is the yardstick used in measuring their seriousness in wanting to be your friend.

You need to ask yourself some pertinent questions on why you have not been interested in getting a man who is so dear to you that you cannot but see or hear from in a short space of time. Are you the type that has set some parameters and qualities you want to see in the life of your partner?

Don’t forget that you are human and no human can be 100 percent in all ramifications. Life is all about giving and taking. There are some things that you have to overlook in a man who might have satisfied your perceived pass mark as you are not perfect in your ways.

Seun, from now on begin to see good things in other people so that you will be able to see where you have missed the point. I want you to review your interaction with men and let them know that you are serious in your dealing with anyone that you feel that you have serious affection for. I want to believe that it is you that is not serious and not the men.

As 2016 is winding up, please, learn to commit this area of your life into prayers so that you will experience a new lease of life in the coming year. In doing this, you don’t have to force yourself on men but be informed by purpose and learn to be friendly and stop being a lone ranger. Keeping to yourself at all times will not solve your problem neither will retiring to your cocoon be the way out.

Whoever comes your way should be first treated as a friend and not a lover. Let the feeling be as mutual as possible which I want to believe will gradually translate to a lasting affair.

Stop feeling bad and lonely because of the after effect of your thought about your lot.

Please, don’t be too selective and judgmental.