THE sudden epidemic that engulfed the globe is unfortunate and critical, It has brought with it stories of woes and life-changing alternatives all within the space of three months. There is no end to the COVID -19 and schools remain locked while children continue to stay at home. The fact that children are at home twenty- four hours means mothers are on call throughout the day and this could lead to burnout if there is no support.
Helpguide.org defines burnout as a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands.”
Parental burnout on the other hand has been described by researchers as an intense exhaustion that leads parents to feel detached from their children and unsure of their parenting abilities.
Bethany from mamfindsherway.com explain that “Mom burnout is a state of complete mental and physical exhaustion and a lack of motivation to continue.
Thus, mom burnout is an intense exhaustion that occurs from the daily stress of parenting which can lead us to become unsure of our abilities as mothers or make us depressed. Most young mothers are experiencing this with our children perpetually home this lockdown. As interesting as the experience of parenting is, it is a ton of hard work, especially if we do not have domestic help or support. Having this experience does not make one abnormal; it only projects the reality of being human.
Some signs of mom burnout
- Sleep deprivation; mothers of young children especially are awake most of the night to meet the demands of their children; from night toilet training to soothing the child’s cries and worries. This changes in sleep pattern coupled with continuous care of the children during the day which includes cooking, cleaning, endless chatter amongst many other may begin to drain the mother’s energy and make her depleted on the long run.
- Feeling exhausted or caring for children on autopilot. When your mind is not in the activity you are currently engaged in, like not noticing you are putting hand in a boiling water until you feel the singe.
- Worrying endlessly. This may result in uncontrollable yelling, feeling sudden burst of anger on spouse or the children, or spanking with little or no reason.
Solution
- Stop living in isolation: Since there is no prize for best mum of the universe, do not overwhelm yourself with your ability to impress yourself as one. Get help fast! Discuss your challenges with your spouse, brainstorm solutions together.
- Encourage intimacy: Get connected with your spouse. An average African man may not know how to help domestically, you should however ask for such help in love, not demand for it like you may want to. Make love, and let all your stress melt away. A sexually satisfied husband is easy to convince.
- Raise independent children: Speak lovingly with your children. Tell them your challenges and how well you will prefer they behave. Let them help with house chores.
- Breathe in the air: Step into the fresh air, bask in the sunlight or count the stars. Move out of the house, just some few minutes of relaxation for you will not hurt anyone.
- Obuneme , a social worker, writes from Ibadan.
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