Confession of a flirting husband

“I am hooked in this relationship. Before I could call Jack Robinson, she swept me off my feet by two things: respect and admiration. Her eyes, touches, expressions, looks, demeanour, and voice spoke it. I felt human for once after many years of being married. If only my wife knows how much these respect and admiration means to me, she would have done all within her power to give them to me. But she was too naive to realise it. But, with this my guilty partner in extra marital affairs, there was no end to how much respect and admiration I get from her. She makes me feel like I am a king to be worshipped. With her, there is no dull or stressful moment. All that I get is peace of mind. So, I find in her a therapy for long life. If only for that, I will stay hooked with her for life. I cannot come and die at an early age, or better stated, before my time. Are you asking “do you know when it is your time?” No, I don’t know, but I am persuaded that, with the way I feel whenever I am with her, or talk to her, I will die well, and at the right time- my time. But I cannot say the same about my wife.  Even if I die at a hundred years, with my wife, it will still be before my time”.

Lessons from the confession

  • It is the quest to live long that drives many husbands into extra marital affairs. A lot of wives are stressors to their husbands. They stress them financially, emotionally, spiritually. Thus, many husbands take time off to unwind with their flirting partners. When the husbands are with the wives, after the day’s work, the discussion is usually need centred: housekeeping allowance that is becoming inadequate. The upcoming ceremonies that require funding; the outstanding bills: television viewing, electricity bill, house rent, school fees etc. Many at times, these end up being reminders, since they would have been discussed earlier on. In some cases, these are backed by the elements of threat and compulsion, for the husbands. The element of nagging is also a factor here, as reminders turn to nagging. This is why life expectancy of husbands is lower compared to that of the wives.

So, wise husbands for fear of sudden or early death, engage the services of the stress relieving agents. For the religious or God fearing ones, they engage in emotional flirting with ladies to release tension from the stress at the home front.

  • Many wives don’t understand how to communicate respect to their husbands. Relationship experts have identified respect as the greatest need of a man. So, respect is one strong motivating factor for husbands. The wives, in most cases misunderstand this factor. Hence, they disrespect their husbands with the mindset that it will draw the husband’s attention to what they need from the husbands. What a wrong perception of provoking the husbands to act positively.

Instead of communicating respect, wives communicate disrespect to their husbands. You can see it in their eyes, looks, attitude and words. Phrases such as “you better do something about it before you regret it”; “ can’t you see how your friends are taking good care of their families? “; “ Haa! Oh my God, what did I do to deserve this situation ?” are examples of disrespectful remarks of many wives  to their husbands.

Amazingly, you will be surprised how respectful the same wives get when they need something from the same husbands: the sumptuous meal, the extra ordinary care, and unsolicited sex moves become the order of the day. Obviously, they don’t seem to get when the best time to be respectful in their marriage is. This lack of respect is what readily drives the husbands into the waiting hands of the flirting partners.

  • The love charm of the other ladies drawing the husbands away from the wives is embedded in the respect being offered by them to such husbands. This is the magic wand that enslaves the husbands to their adulterous partners. So, wives should stop looking for what is not lost. The reality is that the real love charm that is missing in many marriages is not in the sumptuous food of the adulterous partners, but in their respect for their victims. So, it becomes the case of the monkey and banana. Or, will a monkey ignore banana? The fact that it is banana is the easiest bait for monkeys, speaks the answer.

Wives should therefore do all to charm their husbands with respect and admiration, and the outcome will be amazing. I hope wives are taking notes? Let us meet again to also consider the confession of the flirting wife. Abomination? Haa, many husbands are the guilty agents of forcing their wives into adultery. Next week is our appointment. Till then, stay safe and take advantage of the Covid- 19 free time to work on your marriage.



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