What can we do to prolong our time in bed?

Dear Yemisi, I am aged 42. I am sending this piece to you because of my predicament. My problem is that I last only two minutes (in bed) during sexual intercourse.

Please, guide me.

Olu.., 0*0****3***.

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Dear Yemisi, What can I do to increase my sexual intercourse duration? I have observed  that in less than 15 seconds, I am done.

Mr Anonymous, 08******3**.

Dear Olusola and Mr Anonymous, I think I have to address your worries together because you are both asking the same question in different ways.,

Premature ejaculation has been found to be a problem that affects almost every man at some point in life so concludes Thomas J. Walsh, M.D, a urologist at the University of Washington.

According to the urologist, there are two approaches if you want to last longer in bed. They are physical and psychological treatments. Physical remedies target the sensations you feel during sex while psychological solutions address your worry, stress, or other mental factors that may explain your quick ejaculation.

Remember that duration isn’t the most important part of the formula for avoiding premature ejaculation and having great sex.

The quoted urologist attempted a few of the most helpful techniques for dealing with premature ejaculation (PE) with a precaution that you must try these out on your own before the real act.

You need to regulate the way your body responds to physical sensations which is known as biofeedback. Avoiding premature ejaculation is to bring yourself right to the edge of orgasm before stopping all sexual or masturbatory activity until you have your excitement under control.

Also Read: I can last only two minutes!

Practising this technique can help you teach your brain and body to better control your orgasm response, added another sex therapist Emily Morse, Ph.D.

If you can feel your orgasm coming on, stop and squeeze right below the head of your penis. Apply firm pressure with your thumb and forefinger and focus the pressure on the urethra advises Ian Kerner, Ph.D., a sex therapist. The squeeze technique can help you last longer in bed by pushing blood out of the penis and momentarily decreasing sexual tension, which represses the ejaculatory response.

Using sprays as suggested to desensitise goes with caution as lack of sensation could make it difficult for you to stay erect during sex, the therapist said.

If you are addicted to condom, always go for the thick ones like ‘Durex’ as they  act like a slip-on desensitizer for your member during sex, and these can help you avoid premature ejaculation.

I will not advise you take to any medication that is not prescribed for you for premature ejaculation by your doctor because most of the off shelf drugs are mostly antidepressants.

If you feel like you’ve tried everything to have better sex without success, it may be time to discuss your problem with a sexual dysfunction specialist.

Also Read: Why couples don’t achieve sexual climax

He recommends asking your doctor for a referral to a urologist, who can either treat you himself or refer you to the right person for your problem.

From the layman point of view, prolong foreplay and don’t be too anxious about having intercourse.