MISUNDERSTANDINGS happen in relationships. It is a given and while it is always hoped that misunderstandings can be resolved, some eventually lead to a breakup. In the case where a relationship fails on the ground of misunderstandings and people who used to care deeply about each other become cold towards one another, it begs the question of what happens to all the gifts they had given each other.
To understand people’s thought towards the question, WhatsApp conversation this week engaged the audience with the topic: ‘After a breakup, would you return an expensive gift your ex got you?’
Here are the answers:
If a breakup should happen, except she demands those gifts she gave to me, I don’t see any reason why I should return the gift. I believe that the gifts were given to me on a good note at a time when the relationship was mutual. If she makes a demand for it, I will freely give it back but if not, I will not give back the gifts.
I can’t, even if my ex requested, I can’t. It is tagged ‘gift, and since he presented it himself, the gift is now rightfully mine. Regardless of how things ended between us, he cannot get those gifts back; it’s as simple as that.
In my opinion; either expensive or not, I deem it unnecessary to return a gift to your ex. No matter how the relationship turned out to be, they were once part of your life. Maybe give it out if you don’t want it anymore but return? That’s low.
In every reasonable sense, a gift is a gift and it is assumed, it was born out of a voluntary action or reasoning. So if you gave me as a gift, it is only right that you forget about it, Afterall, it is a gift. It is left for me to decide what to do with it. In any case after a breakup, except my ex in question demands for it, hell no! I am keeping my gift plus the good memories. If he now demands for it, I will give it to him plus something extra to compensate the effort he used to ask.
When I was in secondary school, I returned the wristwatch an ex got for me, gave it to his sister. That was then and that was the level of knowledge I had. I dashed out shirts an ex got for me, gave it to my cousins. Currently, it depends on my emotional state at that particular time. If it is a recent separation, I am not going to give back the gift, I act on impulse sometimes.
Returning the precious gift by an ex-partner: I will count it as a lifelong and a forever gift if our relationship did not end sour before we parted. Even if it ended sour, the earlier gift would be regarded as “one of those things” in life. It remains a take – away in my mind and wishes us “all the best”! Asking for a return to me is a sign of a “ masculine weakness”. Togetherness has come and gone; gifts had come and gone too.
All old things are passed away, in this day and age, if you gift me something expensive, I believe you were not unconscious when you made the decision. I am definitely not going to return it. Even if you ask for it, I can’t return it and if I find it emotionally draining, I will sell it and do cash giveaway with the proceed.
I can’t return a gift neither can I collect mine back, the gifts were shared when it was worth it and that we are separating doesn’t mean we should strip each other naked. We meet to part and we part to meet, so when we meet again, we can be able to say hello.
I think it is immature to return gifts given to me by my ex. It was a gift, not a loan.
I cannot possibly imagine returning any gift that my ex gave to me. Even if it’s the most expensive gift in the world. The mere fact that it is tagged gift is enough to show the effect.
I can’t collect something I can’t afford, and I will always find a way to gift him something of equal value or more than. That way, if he wants to count bullshit, I will count two times for him.
In a normal relationship where giving is mutual, you do not need a calculator. God should not allow us to enter into a relationship that will be counting each morsel.
Mr. Tukur Jamo is a graduate of Political science, he is interested in legalities within relationships and he is also a public affairs analyst, here is his take on the issue:
Once a break up happens, the only legally binding transactions between the parties who used to be in a relationship are things that are duly recorded. Those are transactions that have evidence. Gifts, in this case, are not transactional in nature. Gifts are given out of the benevolence of one’s heart and no one is compelled to give gifts.
As such, to request the giving back of such gifts would be to go back on one’s goodness. If you had extended a loan to the other party in the relationship, it is a different case. You can even choose to be legal about that, we say the case of the ex-boyfriend to the customs boss wife. The only reason he could sue was that there was documentation and the other party was aware that it was a loan.
Next week on WhatsApp conversation, we will be considering the series Conversations you must have in your relationships. It promises to be an enlightening series.
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