Adult abuse has no respect for gender

Continued from last week


It has been established that adults also go through abuse in various forms irrespective of their status or gender, though attention is usually on child abuse and gender violence. But while it is obvious that adults can also be abused in various forms and in different places, workplace, recreation centres and in every location where that they relate with others in whatever form, adult abuse is more common in intimate relationships.

Though women are more vulnerable to abuse from their partners based on diverse factors like patriarchy and deeply entrenched religious and cultural values, men also go through a lot and suffer in silence as most are brought up not to show weakness.

There is indeed a need to correct the misconception that only women are abused and abuse perpetrators are always men; many women abuse their spouses emotionally, psychologically, verbally and even physically. Some women destroy their partner’s valuables when they have issues, some turn excessively aggressive and subject their partners to various forms of domestic violence; locking them out, keeping car keys and important documents to stop them from going for important meetings, going to their workplace to embarrass them or pouring water on the bed space just to make them go through stress.

And while many men suffer in silence in order not to appear as weaklings in the society, many women also live miserable lives filled constantly and continuously with all forms of pain in order to remain in a relationship so that they would not be regarded as failures as women are constantly taught to endure all sorts of abuses in order to remain married.

But the truth is that no adult, either male or female, should be subjected to any sort of abuse. While there are laws to help protect women, there are also provisions of the law to help men fight various forms of abuse. However, the best means of stopping the menace is to catch them young, it is time to focus on young children who are not set in their ways so that the coming generation will know that abuse in whatever forms should be avoided.

As abuse affects the health of women so also is it a sure way of sending a man to an early grave. Consequently, it is time to stop training our young girls to expect abuse in relationships and live with it because it is normal; the era of training girls to marry mannerless boys is over. Parents should stop bringing up their boys to become monsters for their well trained girls. It is important to train boys to be gentlemen that understand that abuse in all its forms is inhumane, they need to know being abusive does not make them men but monsters and a show of strength abnormally does not validate their masculinity.

Though many still get away with abuse, there is no society today where abuse is normal; it is criminal and should be stopped. Putting an end to abuse is the responsibility of every individual and it starts from every home. Everyone has to play their part by burying archaic beliefs about what makes a man.



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