How to keep love aglow in marriage (II)
Last week we began to look at the things husband and wife need to put in place in their marriage in other to keep their love for each other aglow. Please enjoy this concluding part:
Don’t take your spouse for granted
Taking your spouse for granted is to be so used to him/her that you do not recognize his/her true value anymore and, as a result, do not show that you are grateful for him/her any longer. This is a sin many couples are guilty of and it is one thing that can kill our love for one another. You must learn to appreciate your spouse. Husband and wife must value one another. Whatever you will not do to her if she was not your wife, you should not do to her now that she’s your wife. That she agrees to marry you is not a crime she has committed against you to make you see and treat her now like nobody. And whatever you will not say to him if he was not your husband, you should not say to him because he is your husband. That he chose to spend his life with you rather than somebody else should not make him lose his respect before you. That he/she is your spouse should make him/her deserve an honour you should accord to no one else.
Cultivate friendship with your spouse
Love between a couple is promoted when they cultivate friendship with one another. Do things that friends do: Friends respect one another’s opinion; friends gist together; friends spend time with one another; friends laugh with one another, friends share things with one another, friends relax in one another’s presence, friends protect one another, friends feel safe with one another, friends are opened to one another etc. The moment a man and a woman are married, they should have no one else as their best friend other than their spouse.
Communicate with your spouse
Communication is one of the bedrocks of a good marriage. Communication promotes love. Every divorce in the law court begins with a breakdown in communication between the couple. Whatever is going on between a couple, as long as they can still sit down and talk it over, there will always be a way out of it. But the moment there is a breakdown in communication and it is not addressed on time, divorce or separation is inevitable. It is important husbands and wife allow for free communication in the marriage. As much as possible, there must be freedom of speech. The degree to which the parties involved are free to express their hurt, displeasure, feelings, opinions etc. is the degree to which their love for one another will grow. Spouses must cultivate a relationship in which there is nothing they will not be able to tell one another.
Leave no conflict unresolved
Conflict resolution between couples is one thing that cannot be overlooked. Couples that will stay in love must learn to resolve every conflict that arises in their home and resolve it the right way. Ignoring or overlooking conflicts, or leaving them to time to resolve is like sitting on a time bomb that is bound to explode with time. Unresolved conflicts will often result in marriage dissolution. In resolving conflicts, couples must avoid taking one another for granted. Each party must be seen as an entity and therefore, must be treated as one. No party must over ride the other and the interest of both must be protected.
Make lovemaking something you both look forward to
Your sexual relationship with your spouse plays a very important role in your love life. Sex is God’s own gift to married couple for the consummation of their love for one another. A couple that will remain in love with one another after several years of being married must enjoy great sex. This is because sex serves as a lubricator. It helps to lubricate the marriage against friction. It helps to strengthen the bond between husband and wife. The absence of great sexual relationship between a couple can generate enough friction that can put them apart. That’s why it is important you do whatever it will take to make you and your spouse enjoy great sex at all times.
Love must be guarded jealously and consciously sustained if it will not be lost. Therefore, invest in things that will protect and promote your relationship with your spouse. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed and not endured. Keeping to the above will go a long way in ensuring that you enjoy your spouse.
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