Enjoying great communication in marriage (1)
L ET me start today’s piece by saying happy new year to the numerous readers of Saturday Tribune. My prayers for you are that your aspirations and goals will be realised as you put in the best of efforts. God will then crown your efforts with success in the mighty name of Jesus.
I feel that the best way to lay a good foundation for a happy and stress-free marital relationship this new year is to give serious consideration to communication, which I have discovered to be the bane of marital relationship. In fact, a lot of good relationships have become ruined today, with the people involved mourning and counting their losses, due to poor communication. Many people involved in relationships are never able to communicate their love, hurts, desires and even, apologies effectively, so their relationships become strained at best, if not ruined.
If you have been conversant with growing marital crisis in the societies of the world, you should be wondering why this is so, because of the great hope, love and resources we bring into marriage. Or is it not true that no matter how a marriage ends, the beginning is always sweet. Am I triggering old memories here for you: the hugs and kisses, the many visits and long calls, the unsolicited cares and gifts? The list seems endless. So one cannot but wonder as to what happened to a lot of that beginning stuffs.
The culprit here for me is poor communication. A lot of us married people don’t enjoy good communication. I mean a communication which is effective for a successful marriage. What we do at best is to complain, shout, abuse and then blackmail our spouses. Where as, effective communication is way beyond all of those anger induced reactions.
For communication to be effective, it has to be two way, and the message received by the recipient. But in most cases in today’s marriages, communication is far from being effective. Do I hear you protesting? Just wait a while. I know two of you talk, argue and bring the wrongs to each other’s attention. But, what is the result you are getting? Has it resolved the issues? Or is what you enjoy not a fragile peace in order to avoid break up?
What I have discovered is that many times, we don’t get to pass across to the recipient our intended messages. This is because such messages are more of reactions to the hurts we are suffering, the love we don’t get, and as such, they are not well received by our spouses and vice versa. By reacting, we simply miss the mark of communication. That is why we don’t get the desired results. Anger-induced reactions are inimical to effective communication in marriage. So, let us avoid it. We will consider some things that affect effective communication in the next write-up.
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