How to make him see you as relationship material
couple-happy-spouse-faithfulIT’s essential that a man looks at you as relationship material if you want any kind of a future with him. Even small little things that you might think are harmless could make him immediately remove you from any long-term possibility in his mind.
These four principles will help make sure that you’re seen as long-term relationship material in his mind:
Principle 1: Be Easy Going
A lot of women have figured out that if they throw tantrums, act wild and crazy and are constantly irrational they can get a lot of attention from men. What they don’t realize though is that they’re only attracting emotionally needy and low-quality men.
Irrational behavior is a quick way to completely disqualify yourself as a relationship possibility for most men. On the opposite side, if you’re cool, fun and easy going, you immediately become someone he can think of as long-term dating material.
This also goes for nagging or demanding things from a man. When you constantly tell a guy that you want something from him over and over again, he’ll feel like there’s no pleasing you.
Your mood impacts a man more than you could ever realize. Guys say that they want to make women happy. But really, they want a woman who is already happy because they feel like they contribute to your level of wellbeing.
And a woman who is constantly demanding things and upset make a man feel like he can’t win with her. If he feels like he can’t win with you, he won’t want to be in a relationship with you.
On the other hand, if you’re upbeat and happy most of the time, he’ll feel like he’s always winning. And if he feels like he’s always winning, he’ll feel good about having you around him.
That doesn’t mean you have to always be happy. But men feel responsible for a woman’s happiness and wellbeing, even if they have nothing to do with it. If you can show him that you’re happy most of the time, he’ll begin to think of you as a relationship possibility in his mind.
Principle 2: The High Value Woman
Most women get swept away with the feelings of chemistry and infatuation. If they feel it for a guy, they’ll cancel plans to make plans with him, they’ll attempt to integrate their lives into his, and they’ll try to trap him in a cage of commitment immediately.
When you do things like this, you immediately get placed into a category of what a lot of men call, “clingy.” You’re seen as someone who is needy, desperate and is holding onto a man for dear life.
A guy wants to feel like you’re a high quality, valuable women. A woman like this isn’t won over simply by the feelings of chemistry she has. She wants and needs those feelings yet, has felt chemistry before and knows that it doesn’t determine whether a man is good for her or not.
A woman like this has her own life. She isn’t so busy that she can’t open herself to a relationship yet, her life is active enough that she won’t just throw everything away to integrate her life with a man’s.
She maintains her own active life because it fulfills her and gives her a sense of meaning and purpose.
This type of woman has to be won over not as a game to trap a man but because she knows there is an abundance of men out there that she could choose from. And she’s waiting for a man who is willing to invest time and focus on her before she gets into a relationship.
She needs a man to live up to her standards and wants to make sure that he’s good for her. If a guy feels like you have standards and aren’t easily won over, he’ll want to live up to those standards.
Guys like to see what they can get away with. That’s why a lot of men will start making these bold, outrageous promises early on in a relationship.
As much as they make those promises, at the end of the day they don’t really want you to fully buy into what they’re saying. I know it sounds kind of ridiculous.
But if you immediately buy into his outrageous ideas of taking you around the world, marrying you or whatever other silly nonsense he comes up with early on, he’ll feel like he rushed into things and begin to regret the things he said.
And if you fully bought into what he said, he might end up feeling trapped by his own outrageous claims and then want to disappear on you.
So you have to make sure he wins you over. You need to pace the progression of the relationship, even with non-physical stuff. If you rush into things even if he’s the one attempting to push you into them, you both may end up regretting it.
Be a high value woman instead. Be the type of woman who has her own life. Be the type of woman who needs to be won over. He’ll value and appreciate you a lot more for it.
Principle 3: Let Him Be Your Hero
Every man wants a woman who is impressed by him. That’s why men will go on dates and talk to a woman like he’s reading off his resume. He wants to impress her.
And a lot of women turn this into some kind of competition to see whose accomplishments are better. Or they blow him off when he’s saying that stuff because they think that they’ll be looked at as gold diggers or something if they care about what he’s saying.
He wants to impress you. That’s why he’s saying that kind of stuff. Allow him to impress you. Be impressed by what he’s saying if you like him.
He’s not saying it because it’s some test to see if you’re a gold digger or not. We have other types of tests for that.
A man wants to be your hero. He wants you to respect and admire him. It makes him feel like a man.
And if you really want him to feel good around you, find things that are unique and kind of quirky about him and appreciate him for those things. Tell him that you like little things about him that other people don’t see.
This also will encourage him to step into the role of whatever you appreciate him for. If when he says something sweet to you, you tell him that you really love it when he says stuff like that to you, he’ll start to say more of it.
He’ll attempt to live up to the standard of what you like about him. Let him be your hero and he’ll see himself keeping you around for a very long time.
Principle 4: Integrate Well Into His Life
One of the factors that determines how well a guy will see you in terms of long-term dating material is whether you integrate well into his life or not. A lot of women want to immediately drop their own lives and attempt to fit themselves into his.
This almost always backfires. You need to slowly integrate yourself into his life so that you don’t crowd him or make him regret pulling you into it.
Even if a guy is attempting to get you to start moving into his life really quickly, allow yourself to pace this part. Pace how much you start to see him from the early stages onward.
Make sure you get along with his friends and get along with his family. Don’t allow yourself to pull him away from his masculine purpose, even if it was his idea to do that with you.
If he feels like you’re constantly removing him from working on whatever his purpose and passions are, he’ll feel like there’s no way the two of you will work out. If he’s taking a break from it, that’s fine.
As soon as he starts to feel like he has a confliction between you and his masculine sense of self, he’ll start to think that this isn’t going to work out for him.
This includes his guy time. If he feels like he needs a certain amount of time to hang out with his guy friends, you need to give him that space to do that.
It’s not because he doesn’t like you. So don’t take it personally. It’s because that time allows him to feel like a man and solidifies his sense of masculine identity. Allow him to have that and don’t try to “be one of the guys.”
If you start to compete with the time he spends doing what fulfills his sense of masculine identity, he’s going to freak out on you. His masculine identity is at the core of who he is as a person.
And if you attempt to compete with it, you’re going to lose. If you don’t immediately, you will over time. He’ll quickly begin to lose respect for you because he’ll feel like you’re pulling him off course and not supporting him for who he is.
It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t value you or spending time with you. It’s just a specific part of his life that you need to leave to him.
If he can keep those parts of his life and he sees you supporting him in keeping those parts of his life, he’ll see you as someone that works and fits with him.
Encourage him to go and do things with his friends without you. Encourage him to work on his purpose and passions in life. Encourage his hobbies.
This is a type of nurturing and support that will make you incredibly attractive to a man and he won’t feel like he’s losing himself when he creates a relationship with you. If you attempt to compete with what he loves, you’re going to lose in the end.
If you can integrate well into his life, he’ll begin to see you as someone he can have in his life for a very long time.
Source: Commitment connection.com