AS Igbo and as one who had people that did a lot around the concept of chi, I often wonder what our Chi has got to do with it? In Igbo culture, unlike how the Chinese view it, chi is your personal spirit, a guardian angel believed to determine destiny. I therefore ask if it is our chi in Nigeria that has bestowed on us the kind of leaders that we have or could it be that some devil arm-twisted our benevolent and magnanimous chi and send us the devil’s ministers? These thoughts sometimes leave me confused and worried; and I am worried because of our growing children as we seem to be utterly helpless… helpless as we stylishly sink deeper and deeper into our multi-faceted, monstrous troubles.
During the week, the Federal Government announced with glee that we will spend a princely $1.5 billion to rehabilitate the Port Harcourt refinery. I doubt if Nigerians born from 1999 have the privilege of knowing what a functioning refinery is. They would have heard about refineries though. The announcement should ordinarily have drawn cheers from Nigerians but the news was greeted with the usual indifference and taken with, as normal, a pinch of salt. In July 2017, the same refinery was billed for revamping with $300 million. Ibe Kachikwu was in the picture then, and he was emphatic when he said that approval had been given for the project, and that the concessionaire would be paid from sale proceeds from the refinery.
In less than four years, the Federal Executive Council has approved $1.5 billion for the rehabilitation of the same refinery. There is no news yet on the previous $300 million. That might be one of the reasons Governor Ezenwo Nyesom Wike said he would not roll out the drums on the latest announcement. He even went the way of politics: “They said, Nigerians if you give us APC the opportunity to remove this PDP government that told you it (refinery) will work, we are going to make it (refinery) work. And since 2015 it has not worked. Now we are going to the next transition, you are now coming to tell Nigerians you have made this approval. The same thing in Ogoni cleans up. It has always come up when we are going for election.”
Like every other Nigerian, I will also, like the bat, watch the deed of roving birds from my upside down position.
It seems to me that it is our chi that has given us to the kind of leaders we have. If your chi gives you money or fortune, you will not take it to another person; if your chi presents you with kinkana, who would you hand it over to? If your chi hands you a bad day, who would you report him to? These were the musings of Oriental Brothers in one of their numerous hits.
Humourist Sam Levenson said it is easy to get lost in thought “because it is a strange area”. That might be why my wandering thoughts brought me to a story I have re-presented below with a few adjustments. The writer I could not readily identify, entitled it “The fake heroes industry”:
“Khrushchev says: Comrade Joseph Stalin called me and said, ‘Come to my office quickly, Yanikita, there is a big conspiracy. I arrived and had a group of ministers with us.
“And Stalin said, ‘Nikita, comrade, we have a tyre factory and this factory is a gift from the American Ford company. It has been producing tires for years and in good shape.
“However, suddenly and six months ago, this plant started producing tyres that explode after a few kilometers and no one knows the reason. I want you to go to the factory immediately you discover what the reason is.
“I arrived at the factory and started the investigation immediately, and the first thing that caught my eye was the wall of heroes at the entrance to the factory. On this wall, pictures of the best workers and administrators who worked hard and actively within a month were placed, and investigations began directly from the administration even to the smallest worker.
“None of them knows the reasons. I decided to sleep in the lab to solve this mystery. I woke up early in the morning and stood at the first production line and followed one of the tyres and walked with him from scratch until he left the factory and I was frustrated.
“Everything was normal, everything was correct, and everything was perfect. But the tyre exploded after a few kilometers. I gathered the engineers, workers, and administrators, brought the plans, and contacted the American engineers. We did not reach a solution. I analysed the raw materials used in the manufacture of that tyre. The analysis proved that they are very excellent and are not the reason at all. And the tyre exploded for no reason.
“I was frustrated … and felt helpless … As I was walking in the factory, the wall of heroes caught my eye in the lab. At the top of the heroes’ list was one of the engineers at the top of the list. I noticed that this engineer was at the top of the list for six months, that is since these tyres began exploding for no reason.
“I could not sleep. I called this engineer to my office immediately for an investigation, and I told him. Please explain to me, comrade, how did you manage to be the production champion for six consecutive months?
“He said: I was able to save millions of rubles for the factory and the state.
“I said: How did you do that?
He said, “I simply reduced the number of metal wires in the tire, and thus we were able to save hundreds of tons of metal every day.”
“Here, I was very happy because I finally found out about solving the mystery, and I had no patience for that. I called Stalin immediately and explained to him what had happened, and after a minute of silence, he said, literally: ‘Now, where is this idiot’s body buried?’
“Actually, comrade I did not execute him. I will send him to Siberia because people will not understand why we are executing a production hero.
“In fact, it does not have to be corrupt and thieves to harm and destroy us. It is enough to be stupid. Some put idiots in important and essential sites and innovate in honouring them while the country collapses in front of everyone.”
Oriental Brothers sang:
E bee la m akwa uwa… uwa m lee uwa m ee!
E bee la m akwa uwa… uwa m lee uwa m ee!
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