Marriage is divine, but men are improvising. SHOLA ADEKOLA, AYOMIDE OWONIBI-ODEKANYIN and CHIMA NWOKOJI explore the new wedding innovations, with the innovators.
The Interpretation Act Law of the Federation of Nigeria requires parental consent from both families of an intending couple before a legal marriage can be contracted, but the world, going belly up, is ensuring that most couples today rarely care about obtaining this all-important consent, especially in cases of ‘contract’ marriages. Contract marriage is pure business and almost all those who are involved in it are expected to ‘smile’ home, regardless of their respective roles in getting the ‘business’ done.
It is no longer news that Nigerians, out of the determination to beat security and immigration networks of the countries of their target, engage in unorthodox means such as travelling to Europe through the desert and through the Mediterranean Sea, where most of them end up meeting their untimely deaths. Travelling out of the country for greener pastures is an age-long phenomenon, but the changing requirements have thrown up a lot of unwholesome practices. One of such requirements is evidence of marriage to prove that the intending traveler has family commitments, either with a foreigner or with a Nigerian.
At the Ikoyi Marriage Registry in Lagos, the appearances of intending couples that frequent there will always arouse curiosity and attention. When Saturday Tribune visited the registry recently, there were many young Nigerian men getting married to women twice their age, and usually of different nationalities. Of course, other normal marriages take place there but, as it appears, the strange ones happen to aid visa processing or dual nationality claim. These are the couples that are usually not accompanied by friends or relatives and, essentially, those who often require the services of standby surrogates.
A source at the registry who spoke on condition of anonymity told Saturday Tribune that touts are always available on demand to act as best man or best lady, the flower trail and, even, some crowd to spice up the picture background. “However, what you call ‘sham, or arranged marriage’ here, also take place in Europe where they call it ‘contract marriage’”, the source said.
An unsuccessful misssion
Ajibade is a 32-year-old graduate of the polytechnic who was pushed into the idea of travelling to the United States of America in 2012 after failing to get a job. Even though he successfully won the American Visa Lottery he needed to obtain a visa, however, because he had presented himself as a married man in the lottery form he filled out, it became compulsory for him to appear at the embassy with his supposed wife.
According to him, he was advised by his friends to try an arranged marriage with a classmate through a company that carries out such illegal functions for a specified fee. Ajibade was charged N500,000 for this desperate exercise. Unfortunately for him, the cat was let out of the bag when he failed some questions put to him by the embassy official concerning his supposed wife. At that point, the official suspected that the lady was not his wife, though he presented a marriage certificate with wedding pictures. Ajibade was not only denied the visa but lost N500,000 because the company that organized this turned the other way.
Speaking to Saturday Tribune, Ajibade, who was full of regret, used the opportunity to say unprintable things about the government, adding that if the government had provided a job for him, the idea of wasting such a huge sum would not have occurred in the first instance.
A thriving business
The Ikoyi Marriage Registry is the most popular and most patronised in Lagos and probably in Nigeria because it is one of the two federal registries. It is usually a carnival-like affair on wedding days as people start trooping into the compound from as early as 6:00 am, even before the arrival of registry staff.
The environment around the Ikoyi Registry is usually ‘sane’ until Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays when weddings are conducted. Then the environment comes alive, as cars jostle for parking space and different people from all walks of life troop into the registry, either to do business or to be joined in holy matrimony. Different types and shades of business are conducted there. Here, one can rent suits, wedding gowns, parents, witnesses and even buy wedding rings.
A visit to the registry revealed that on wedding days, registry touts collect a lot of money to register couples and get them early numbers to reduce the waiting period as, usually, there are about 30 intending couples fixed for each wedding day.
By 7 a.m, different people rendering diverse services are already settling down in the compound and by the time the staff resumes, the registry is already crowded. There is usually confusion, especially in the selection of numbers. The usual practice is for intending couples to register on first-come-first-served basis but, in some cases, some would have paid touts to get numbers for them, while some pay touts at the venue. By the time registry officials arrive, the prepared list usually gets rearranged, as touts and couples that know how to influence things get themselves sorted out faster.
Photographers are not left out. They go around taking pictures, only to come back within minutes with the glossy pictures, charging exorbitant prices for their services.
“Do you think that ‘just anyhow photographer’ can take pictures here?”, one of them was overheard telling a disgruntled customer who had complained about the price. “We take these pictures in such a way that even the embassy or whatever you are going to use it for would know that this is a professional job; not a shoddy one”, he added.
Women who sell jewellery and those who also offer – services are not left out, as couples can get cheap wedding ring on that day; a bride who came unprepared, can have her make-up done.
Couples can also rent surrogate family members, especially parents and witnesses. Well-dressed parents can be seen wandering around, looking for their ‘children’ that need their services, which usually comes with a price. The same set of ‘parents’ do sign for different couples daily. Investigation reveals that the charges such rentable parent demand differ.
“The least that we charge is N5,000 to stand as parents to intending couples. If the couples are rich, we charge them N15,000 and if we see that they are planning to use the wedding to obtain visa in order to travel abroad, we charge between N20,000 and N25,000”, one of such ‘parents’ confessed.
The green Ikoyi Registry signboard is not left out of the whole business side of the registry. Based on many reasons, many couples make sure that the signboard is captured in the pictures. In most ‘arrangee’ weddings, it is easily observed that more than usual attention is paid to the photo session. The newly-weds, after signing the dotted lines, put so much more energy into taking pictures than they put into the solemnization of the union itself.
Getting the right location and posture becomes a science. Most of them are particular about taking the photographs in front of the giant billboard placed at the entrance of the hall, with special focus on letting the words on the billboard – the Federal Marriage Registry, Ministry of the Interior, Ikoyi, Lagos–show in the picture as background.
People have attributed this to the fact that the Federal Registry, Ikoyi is believed to be the only registry with authentic and recognised marriage certificates outside the country. This makes the registry a target for people intending to travel out of the country at all costs.
Arranged marriages are a common practice here, as over-aged and mismatched couples are the norm. A young Nigerian getting married to an older white woman is not a rare sight at the Ikoyi Registry.
Speaking with Saturday Tribune under the condition of anonymity, another member of staff of the registry pointed out that though there are days for counseling, much is usually not done to checkmate arranged marriages.
“The registry cannot be held culpable for such things like arranged marriage. We counsel intending couples before they sign the dotted lines”, he however said.
Women liberation
It would seem that this form of marriage is particularly popular among couples who intend to travel and reside outside the country. They would normally seek expert advice from marriage counselors in the registry to join them with their chosen partners and help in visa processing.
However, there has been some dispute as to whether contract marriage would work for couples who wish to live in Lagos and in the other parts of the country. Some believe that some women and men prefer independent life. So, based on good understanding and arrangement, it can work for people in that category. Another group on the other hand, believes that it would not work well in Nigeria because, even if the lady agrees in the beginning, she might decide to “stay put” after giving birth to some lovely kids.
However, a Lagos resident, Mr Johnson Agbi, said it is already happening. “I have seen two cases of that. The woman was paid N200, 000 and taken care of throughout the pregnancy. She delivered, handed over the baby to the man and moved on. This is no Nollywood; it happened live!
Many men are thinking in that direction, if you don’t know. After the girl has given him the baby he paid for, he takes the child to his mum in the village to take care of for him. That is the height of women liberation going on now”, Agbi said.