Mrs Florence Ebunoluwa Fagbemi is the wife of Bishop Stephen Fagbemi of Owo Diocese of the Church of Nigeria (Anglican Communion). She speaks with Rita Okonoboh on her experience being married for the past 23 years, what she thinks of Nigeria producing a female president, and her advice for women on making marriages work.
Brief about background
I grew up in Akure, the Ondo State capital. I attended the Ondo State College of Education, now Ekiti State College of Education. Then I proceeded to the Adekunle Ajasin University for my degree in Social Studies Education. Afterwards, I went to the University of Sunderland for my Masters in Special Needs in Education.
Meeting my husband
I met my husband at a fellowship, after my NCE. We met in 1990 and got married in 1995. Being married to him has been awesome, because God is on our side, and because we are both children of God, it has really helped the relationship between us. God has been so good to us and I thank Him for everything. There have been challenging times, but God has always proved Himself faithful.
Have you always been an Anglican?
No. I was born and brought up in the Christ Apostolic Church and became an Anglican by marriage.
Did you know you would be married to a cleric?
When we met, he had finished from the Immanuel College of Theology at the time. So, I already knew my husband was going into the ministry. However, before I married him, I had no inkling I would eventually be married to someone in the ministry.
In recent times, there have been concerns that marriages are failing more nowadays. With your experience, how would you advise young women on making their marriages work?
Perseverance and holding onto God in every situation is what I would advise. Whatever they may be passing through, they should know that God is always able to see them through. It is very important that they trust God at all times. There will be challenges, but when they trust and depend totally on God, Who is able to see them through, things would be fine.
A cleric once stated that pastors’ wives are special kind of people, because of the peculiarities of their positions as spouses. It is not uncommon to find wives of clerics also in situations that threaten their marriages. How would you advise them with your experience as a bishop’s wife?
Like I mentioned earlier, their first point of contact should be God, because there is no disappointment in Him. When they seek God, He will direct them. Prayer is also very important for a minister’s wife to support her spouse and the ministry.
Back to the theme of the diocesan women conference, you’re telling women to ‘arise and shine.’ We have had men in charge of national affairs in the past 19 years of democratic rule, yet it seems the country has not performed up to expectation. Do you think things would be better if Nigeria produces a female president?
Only God can answer that question. When we have a relationship with God, we would do the right thing at the right time.
You have been in charge of the women in Owo Diocese for about five to six months now. How would you rate the support you have received from the women so far?
They have been very wonderful and supportive of the programmes in the diocese. I trust and pray that God would give them the grace to do more.
With the approaching general election, what is your message to Christian women at this time?
Christian women should go out and vote. We want change. They should not just hide in their shells; they should go out, register and vote. By doing that, we would move the country forward.
Activities for the diocesan women conference
The conference will hold between April 26 and April 29, 2018, with the theme: Arise and Shine… taken from Isaiah 60:1. The conference will take place at St. Paul’s Anglican Church, Ifon.
Why did you choose that theme?
Considering the situation of the diocese before we arrived, and under the inspiration and leading of the Holy Spirit, we decided to choose that topic as the theme for this year, that the people of God should arise and shine, because God has commanded it.