Friendship with the opposite sex becomes a little too close for comfort when you are always thinking about him/her on a daily basis; when it happens that hardly can a day pass away without you sparing a thought for him/her; when you are always looking forward to your meeting with, or eager to hear from or speak with him/her; you always wonder where he/she will be, or what he/she will be doing at a point in time. Like an artist sang many years ago: “Hello! Is it me you are looking for? I wonder where you are, and I wonder what you do; are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you…” This kind of thought life is best reserved for your spouse, rather than for an opposite sex friend. Anything contrary becomes a problem needing urgent attention.
What threatens your spouse about your opposite sex friendship
- When you speak glowingly about him/her at the slightest opportunity. For example, at every discussion with your spouse, there is something to refer to about him/her.
- When you speak of him/her at odd times/hour. Such as before, during and after sex with your spouse. Saying things like “Mary said sex is best enjoyed with the lights out” or “Jide said this sex position is outdated” or you begin to talk about Sade’s best food or colour.
- When you often refer to his/her comment as to his/her likes or dislikes when you are with your spouse. I remember a woman, who at the dining table with her spouse, said the food she served was her male colleague’s best food. The husband simply told her she could take some to him right away.
Doing or saying such things can lead to serious friction in the marriage. So, avoid them like a plague in order to protect your marriage. There is a mould in your thought life where only your spouse is allowed to fill. Don’t allow any other person, especially of the opposite sex, to fill such a space in your emotions.
- Lastly, let me say that you should not think that you can handle intimate relationship with the opposite sex without problems. People who feel like that are the ones greatly at risk of messing it up. They end up as bad insurance risk in such relationship. When you feel like that, or always say it, you are an easy prey. So, keep off of it so as to prevent the inevitable extra-marital affairs, which comes with consequences you may not be able to bear.