Is it ok to use toys in the bedroom?

Did you know that about 30 per cent of women actually have an orgasm during sex? Most women need clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm. Meanwhile, many men have trouble sustaining their erections as long as they would like, whether it be because of age or medication. This is where sex toys come to the rescue. They have been said to enhance a perfectly good lovemaking session, taking it from a 10 to a 20!

Are you thinking about trying sex toys but are too embarrassed to try them? Are you unsure whether sex toys are right for you and your relationship? Are you unsure about how to introduce sex toys in the bedroom? Don’t worry – you are not alone. Plenty of people are hesitant and nervous about using sex toys.

Here are some common misconceptions about sex toys:

Respectful people don’t use sex toys

All kinds of people use sex toys, including people most would consider perfectly normal. Using a sex toy doesn’t make you “weird” or doesn’t say anything negative about your relationship. It just helps you have fun and makes you have an orgasm! Also, who will know besides you (and hopefully, your partner) unless you tell them?


Sex toys are just for masturbation

While sex toys are commonly used for masturbation, many couples enjoy using sex toys together, regardless of their gender or sexual orientation. Usually these couples are comfortable trying new things together, are open-minded, comfortable with their bodies and trusting.


Your partner will feel incompetent if you start using a sex toy

Do you think that bringing in a sex toy will hurt your partner’s feelings? A sex toy can give you an orgasm, but it can’t tell you how much they love you or get you a drink of water afterwards. An object is not a substitute for a real person. If your lover has this fear, be sensitive and stroke his or her ego a little bit. As with most relationship issues, good communication is key.


Using sex toys can be physically dangerous

No! In fact, sex toys can have very positive effects on your sexual health. For example, all women can benefit from kegel exercisers, like the  kegel balls, which can tone the pelvic floor muscles; if you suffer from painful sex, vibrators can stimulate blood flow; many doctors and therapists recommend female sex toys to women who have trouble reaching orgasm; prostate massagers reduce the risk of prostate cancer, erectile dysfunction and frequent nighttime urination.

And finally, orgasms help you live longer, block pain and, some say, look younger. What more could you ask for?


If you use sex toys too much, you won’t have an orgasm with your partner

If your partner is afraid you’ll replace him or her with your favorite toy, promise him or her that you’ll keep your sex life varied: try different positions, new toys, light bondage and fantasy play.


If your relationship is healthy, there’s no reason why you should need a sex toy

Congratulations for having a healthy relationship. However, who wouldn’t want to make their relationship even stronger and closer by sharing a new experience?  If your lover is adamant about not needing a sex toy to brighten up your sex life, assure him or her that you don’t need a sex toy either, you’d just like to try one.

You or your partner is afraid of feeling pleasure

Pleasure is a birthright. Everyone deserves it and should have it. Own your sexuality and do what works for you. After all, orgasms make you healthier and happier.


Are you ready? Here are a few suggestions on how to introduce sex toys in the bedroom:


  • Start slow by starting out with something small. Start with a small sex toy and show your lover that the toy is all about adding more pleasure and excitement to the bedroom.
  • When you are ready, work your way up to something bigger and bolder.
  • Try not to become dependent on it.  If you are using a toy every time as part of foreplay and without it sex doesn’t “work”, then, there’s cause to take a second look and figure out what’s going on.
  • Make sure you are involving your husband somehow.   This should be a shared intimate time together.  Some ways to do this are:

-Let him have the toy and use it to get you all worked up

-Let him watch and/or touch you in other ways

-Depending on the toy, you can have it going while he gives you a back massage.  He gets to run his hands all over your naked body, and you get a massage with an “extra.”

  • Remember that communication is the key to any healthy relationship. If you can’t share your feelings or desires, something is not right.

Hopefully, you now have the confidence you need to introduce sex toys into your relationship. Don›t forget that experimentation never hurt anyone!


 Culled from