I am a 35-year-old single lady in search of a life partner. I graduated three years ago and I have been home after the mandatory one year service for more than two years now.
When I was in the secondary school, I never had any relationship with any man because I considered it a distraction to my studies. During my days as an undergraduate, my academics were my priority and I have not been fortunate to meet with any serious man as a would-be husband.
I can count on my finger tips the number of men who had, at one time or the other, approached me for relationships. Once they came, the first thing they usually told me was a night out. Mind you, I was not brought up that way that I should be sleeping around with men even at the first time out.
Along the line, I felt that I should not be distracted by wanting to follow or join the multitudes by joining the fray of happening ladies on campus. It got to a point when my roommates mocked me that they were anxiously waiting for me the saint to introduce the lucky guy to them.
But I never waivered in my resolve not to abuse my independence while in school. Now that I’m advanced in age, I am getting anxious as it appears no man wants to have me as a lover not to talk wanting to be my husband. I have sought the face of God through fasting and prayers, all to no avail as I get disappointed at every date.
My parents are not even helping the issue as they continue to mount pressure on me to bring home a suitor. Having searched for a well paid job for more than a year without any headway, I decided to follow my passion in fashion designing which has literarily got me so occupied that I think less of having any man in my life.
I have asked myself repeatedly if it is compulsory that I should be married. Is success measured by being married? I am getting worked up.
Dear Yemisi, what do you think I can do to save my face from daily embarrassment from my parents? I am even thinking of hiring an apartment so that I would be free from a daily inquiry. What do you think?
I think you should allow your name to do the work. The questions you have asked me are very germane, but I want you to know that if it is the will of God for your life to get the bone of your bone, it will come to pass.
Every problem has an expiry date. You need not belabour yourself with a situation you cannot help. I repeat, God’s way is not our way and He specialises in doing the impossible. As long as you desire to have a man after your heart, in not too distant a time, you will be led to him.
Stop fretting yourself, keep focusing on what you are doing. The choice of whether to remain single or not is yours and you should not be tempted to commit any mistake that you will later regret as result of pressure being mounted on you by your parents.
It will be disastrous if you now, in a bid to satisfy your parents, give in to a nonentity all in the name of wanting to be addressed as Mrs … having waited this long. If you ask me, I think you deserve the best at the end.
If hiring an apartment will give you the peace you desire, kindly go about it in wisdom as you are not too young to be on your own. You need to carry your parents along in doing this and let them know that you are not doing this in defiance to their authority, but that if staying out of their house will be an answer to your question.
I am not counseling you to be rebellious as you are mature enough to handle your life. Never leave anything to chance in the way you dress and interact with people. Don’t give in to self pity and never compare yourself with your contemporaries.
I wish you the very best.